doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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