ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
