Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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