So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Congratulations! We have a period
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