Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
