After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
