yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
