im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
