Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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(707): View more from California

I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.

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(509): View more from Washington

He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?

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(514): View more from Quebec

Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.

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