Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...