He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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