but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.