haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
