i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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