If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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