i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
