i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
