It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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