I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize