you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
