dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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