Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
