So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Pants are for mortals
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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