just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
