Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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