hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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