were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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