So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
