he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
