I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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