i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
