found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
