I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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