In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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