I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
