Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
