...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
