butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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