Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
