You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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