Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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