If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize