You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
