So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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