We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The struggles of a small town man whore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
