it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
