I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
