i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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