I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
