So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
