break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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