plz talk dirty to me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
