i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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