i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
