i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
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I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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