Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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