..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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