he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
