why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
