I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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