mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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