Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
