So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
