But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
