I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
