I think my fart just growled at me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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