Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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