I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
