And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
