so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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