People with herpes should wear stickers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
