How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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